Mysteries

When you live cross-culturally you discover many mysteries. Some remain so, others are eventually uncovered, sometimes only partially so. Yesterday my wife had one of those mysterious conversations that made us laugh, sort of. I'll try to uncover it for you as much as I can.

A teacher at Emily's school working in the Kindergarten very recently had her baby. Emily saw the head teacher yesterday in the hallway and asked how this woman and the baby were doing and how the birth went. The head teacher replied (something like this, I'm relaying third hand here), "oh, it went very well, though her water broke so they had to do a C-section."

Uh....really? Because her water broke?.....

Emily I are discussing the possibility of having a baby next year, and up to this point we're thinking we'll have it in China, and we're doing groundwork and research to understand the situation here a little bit better before jumping in. We know of some of the potential 'issues' with this. One is the extremely high rate of C-sections. Of course we're aware that it is necessary sometimes. But we've heard numbers as high as 50% in China. Even if you don't know ANYTHING about birthing, I'm sure you can deduce that 50% is just a little bit high.

You may be surprised to hear such a high number, but we've heard some explanations for it. One, that also occurs in the States, is that doctors get paid a hefty amount for doing one, and not as much if they don't. That's a strong incentive to do them. And in China there's much less 'common' knowledge about things, so when a doctor says so you just do it.

Two, it is also not uncommon, because of the so-called "One Child Policy", that the doctors will also tie the woman's tubes while they have her open - sometimes upon request, sometimes without knowledge of it. We're not at all afraid this would happen to us, it only applies to Chinese. But, it partially accounts for the higher rate.

But, back to the story. We've answered the question as to C-sections in general. But why was it the solution to her water breaking. This is a greater (cultural) mystery. Here are a few options. Unless you really dig you may never really know the real reason. And digging can sometimes be painful. You never know what you may dig up.

Option 1: She didn't want to go through all the work of pushing the baby out, so she opted for a C-section. This is possible, though in my opinion less likely. And her telling everyone that her water broke so she needed a C-section might be her way of avoiding telling people she just didn't want to do it and losing Face.

Option 2: She couldn't push the baby out, so the doctor said she needed a C-section. Perhaps more likely than Option 1. And her "my water broke" reason is a way of saving Face and not having to tell people she couldn't do it.

Option 3: The doctor wanted more money, so he told her that because her water broke she needed a C-section. Emily said that she has heard of some people who believe that if your water breaks there's more potential for infection. I suppose there's some truth to that, like if you never ever push the baby out you just might have problems. But the doctor giving such advice is more likely because he/she wanted the cash that comes from the cut. But, you might say, wouldn't she know that the water must break if the baby is going to come out? Maybe. Though I wouldn't be surprised to find many women (and men) who don't know a thing about birthing here. Medicine is a very very interesting thing in China. Medical questions can be responded to with numerous answers, some that near making sense and some, like this one, that are wildly ridiculous. Which leads to our final option (though we're certainly not limited to this selection. There may be a huge, complicated story that we'll never know. And that's the mystery).

Option 4: There is much to the story we will never know. But, we know she had the baby and they're both healthy, and we know she had a C-section. That's the important material to the story. Why is 'not relevant'.

Conclusion: Here's my final thought on this situation. There are some fishy things in the story. The fact that her water broke does not mean she needed a C-section. The doctor wanting the money is likely. There's possibly more medical issues that we, and perhaps the mother, don't know, and it was merely the doctor's way of avoiding the explanation, and worrying the mom might feel. Very, very likely there's some Face-saving going on. You can't underestimate the importance of Face in China. America has Face too, it just looks a lot different in context, and its based on different factors.

Small digression on Face. For example. One day, several years ago when I was teaching English, I saw several guys shooting a couple basketballs on a court. I watched as I walked and noticed that no one was making any shots. I decided to stop and watch a little longer. For several minutes. NO ONE made ONE shot. For several minutes!! For an American, MAJOR Face loss. If we're not good at something we usually avoid doing it to avoid embarrassment (which amounts to loss of Face). In China, they value doing something together, rather than the skill with which you do it. So, they were all buddies, shooting the ball. THAT was the point, not making baskets.

So, for this woman who had the baby, she saved Face by not telling us why she had a C-section. She might not even know the real reason. And Emily, in good Chinese cultural form, didn't ask. She didn't need to. Option 4. Good Office Politics, Emily. Way to go!