Humor on Wednesday, Part II

Emily and I were walking through Carrefour [French grocery chain] looking at the meat section hoping to find something similar to Summer Sausage. Had a little hankerin' for it. Here's some of the alternatives we found. I've seen a good deal of Chinglish, but these really are winners...uh, wieners...

Vote for your favorite!!!

1. Several varieties of 'Elbow Ham'
- Elbow Ham
- Hot Spicy Elbow Ham
- Crisp Elbow Ham
- Reformed Elbow Ham (for Calvinists only...)

2. The normal variety (or almost normal)
- Common Smoked Ham
- Honey Roasted Ham
- Smoked and Roasted Ham

3. Only for the rich: Wealthy Family Ham

4. Strictly for the Pentecostal: Spirit Ham

5. For those with a sweet tooth: Sweet Flesh Ham

6. Best in soup: Fragrant Bone Soup Ham

7. This one is green, like Chinese preserved eggs: Sausage of Preserved Egg

8. My favorite (this one brought me to tears): Food was Beef Ham [ahem...what is it now?....]

Humor

I'm nearly through my fifth year in China, and Chinglish still makes me laugh. Here's some of the most recent mentionables, as well as a few other things Emily and I found funny in the last week.

While stopping at McD's for lunch, we saw this sign. We feared for our lives...

Also at McD's that day we were surprised to find Ronald himself! And he spoke flawless Chinese!!!!
Just before we ate at McD's we encountered some uniquely clad individuals in a mall. They were all gathered from some exibition that the mall was putting on. Very interesting. They're all dressed as their favorite computer game characters. When I posed with the guy with the WAY sweet sword he asked me if I knew the sword's name....I didn't know it...

Then, again today I was in the Men's room and saw this one. There's a strange reality that occurs in Men's rooms in China. It's like men lose all depth perception, and a puddle forms at every stall in the country. And this begins at a very early age...
Close up, in case you can't read the 'fine print.'

Treasure Villa

Jesse's taking off to buy some groceries, so I'm filling in once again. I hope in the future I might get just one Wednesday off. We'll see. Chances look slim.

He's been enjoying the week off from class. Had time to study and catch up on a few things. And it's only half over, so there's more to look forward to.

He also wanted me to throw in this picture taken by a teacher-friend who was visiting Qingdao (they're famous for their beer; apparently some time back Germans set up shop there, and what was the first thing they did? Start a brewery of course!). The picture itself is priceless. I don't know where they come up with some of these advertisements, but this one is classic Chinglish.

It reminds me of an ad I saw on the side of a bus for a residential community that read: Intellectual Capitalist Mansions. If you know a little about modern Chinese history it would throw you in stitches. Read up on it here.

Live in a magic place with romance

Forget everything & Forget everyone

The only place this sign brings to mind for me is Hell. Totally isolated, totally alone, and romance is in the air. A powerful desire that will never be fulfilled.

So next time you're really angry and want to curse, try using 'Treasure Villa' instead. "Go to Treasure Villa!", or "What the Treasure Villa?"

- Wednesday