Mostly on Modesty

Does it bother you when you can see a woman's bra through her blouse? Or a dude's underwear or 'crack' when he bends over (or when he's just standing there)?

Language can be a funny thing, especially when translating something from one language and culture to another. Just one of the many idiosyncrasies between Chinese and English is the word Modesty.

In English one of the first things I think of when I hear modesty is physical appearance in relation to clothing (and, I would add, more often in relation to women's clothing). It can certainly take the form of behavior or attitude as well (as a synonym for humble). For example:

"Is this dress modest?"
"What about this swim suit?"
"That guy is really immodest, he's always talking about how great he is."

However, when speaking with Chinese students about modesty (in English) the first thing they usually think of is humble/not humble. The root word 谦 (qian) is translated 'modest', but the basic meaning is humble. Here's a few examples drawn from my little iPod Pleco dictionary:

谦卑 - qianbei: humble, modest

谦虚 - qianxu: modest, self-effacing; make modest remarks

谦逊 - qianxun: modest, unassuming

And not one of the 36 entries for 'modest' had any connotation to physical appearance. It makes me wonder what word(s) my Chinese friends would use to describe 'humble attire'.

Fashion can be a big deal among college students in China. This is encouraged by the proliferation of fake goods that give an impression of wealth and status (not to mention that popular brands often make attractive clothing). Traditional Chinese culture is usually recognized as being modest, both in the unassuming sense and the 'not flaunting of physical features' sense. However, students have begun to experiment with fashion since China began to open up to external influences in the 80s.

Today it is not unusual to find students, particularly girls, wearing some really racy things, and usually below the waist. It is less common to see chest-skin, and I have heard others note that this is more typical in Asia generally. But that doesn't stop the issue altogether. Very thin, light colored sweaters or shirts over off-color or dark bras is very common. Skirts that work better as belts (maybe that's a slight exaggeration), tights worn as pants.

Once, five years ago, I was walking with a friend to the soccer field to kick the ball around and we were dumbfounded to see a girl standing at a phone booth (yes, they still have them in China) wearing a skirt made of that netting normally worn under a dress to make it more poofy. It was like wearing a saran-wrap skirt!

Add to that, there's an extreme issue of not knowing how to wear a skirt, long or short. You can regularly see girls and old ladies squatting down in a skirt, giving full view to everyone what color underwear she's wearing. Once, in class I was trapped in the far corner of the room while teaching because a girl was sitting in a skirt with her legs spread apart. I was so embarrassed, but I couldn't say anything or she would have been mortified.

However, I will stand up for many young girls in China. Many of them still dress with healthy modesty. And, I would argue that many of them really don't know the difference between modest and not, because they've never been taught. Their mother's never wore anything like what's offered in the stores today, and their fathers probably don't care as long as they get married off before they're 30. (There's a saying in China, particularly in rural areas, that girls are like spilt water. I'll blog about that some other day)

This morning I was reading a blog by Michael Hyatt, the CEO of Thomas Nelson Publishing House, and he was talking about his surprise at the lack of modesty on TV, the MTV VMA awards in particular. He gave four guidelines that I hope can be proliferated among the young, in America and China.

Here they are: “Four Guidelines for Modesty”:

1. If you have trouble getting into it or out of it, it is probably not modest.
2. If you have to be careful when you sit down or bend over, it is probably not modest.
3. If people look at any part of your body before looking at your face, it is probably not modest.
4. If you can see your most private body parts or an outline of those parts under the fabric, it is probably not modest.

Not rules, but good guidelines. Thanks Michael.


What about you? What does modesty mean to you?